I've taken up Crossfit, which havs been a very positive change in my life. After 2 months, I'm significantly stronger and feel so much better. Starting today, my class is doing the Primal Blueprint, which resembles Atkins and South Beach with the added twist of a local + organic focus. It fits quite well with the Pacific Northwest culture and it's probably one of the few places in the world where it's actually practical and affordable to try such a diet. Every food store around here is teeming with fresh organic produce. Of course the low/no carb downside makes this a true challenge. I love my bread and even whole grains are out for this diet. I'm opting for the "in-moderation" approach because, well, otherwise I'm starving all the time .. and cranky. A few years back, M and I tried the South Beach purge and after a week were ready to kill each other. I don't plan on going through that again. We'll see ... I'm up for a change and am looking forward to the challenge.

Who ever heard of a dog who needs artificial tear ducts. That's our little cocker spaniel. Poor thing, he's a complete mess. We have special ear cleaning lest they get infected, nightly face washes to clear the goo, nerve pills cause he's crazy. Never have I encountered such a high-maintenance dog. He's a big ball of crazy and problems all wrapped up in a little hairy package. It's a good thing he's so damn lovable. No matter what, he's up for a cuddle. And anythng is worth that.

Busting through that block was the best thing ever. I was cranking out the communications today: cleared my email queue, wrote my one pager, drafted my press release, started on some FAQs. Yee haw! Even my trouble seemed to become a bit easier. Slow and steady with that one; work the plan. I picked up Crossfit about a month back. Because I was in Vegas last week, I didn't get a chance to go to class. I went tonight and it feels so good to go to bed tired. I love that feeling. I can't believe I almost couldn't motivate myself to go tonight. This entry was brought to you by my completely vapid mind of the moment. I realize it was pretty shallow, but hey, it's about me and not you. Maybe I'll get deeper tomorrow. Maybe not. Time will tell.

Sometimes when you need to get out of a rut, you need to take an action, any action. Well, I find myself not able to write. Things aren't flowing naturally as they once did. I need to change that ... so here goes. Take that, you friggin writer's block. "I fart in your general direction." Bring on the creativity!

As I sit here on the couch of my Seattle apartment, I find myself at peace. So peaceful that I've returned to the site which has chronicled my turmoil for so many years. Life came to a slow boil over the years and the emptiness inside me grew. Despite my desire to break free and achieve my potential, I still let myself be dragged down. St Augustine wrote: "Lord, sometimes you fill me with a feeling quite unlike my normal state. This gives me an inward sense of delight, which if it were to reach fulfillment in me would be something entirely different from my present life. But my heavy burden of distress drags me back. I am sucked back to my habits and find myself held fast; I weep greatly, but I am firmly held. The load of habit is a force to be reckoned with!" (Confessions 10, 40) I have felt this in my life. Two steps forward, one step back. Even now, having followed my Father's guidance across the country to accept a dream job in a naturally beautiful part of the world. I have to constantly remind myself of my faith. With that faith in my God and in the Power that God grants me to be like Him, I am filled with that sense of delight. My aura gives off such a powerful, calming energy; so much so that those close to me feel its strength. I fight a battle with my doubts. I've been trained to wait for the other shoe to drop, my heavy burden and my habits. This darkness saps my strength. Yet, in the darkness, I can find God. He is everywhere, waiting for me to reach out and follow Him. I need only let Him lead. When I surrender, and acknowledge that all good things flow from Him, He fills me again with peace, love and joy. My life is filled with the abundance of His gifts and I am eternally thankful. This week is the best week of my life. I have declared it, through Him, and it therefore must be so. Amen.