I remember back to the start of this place. A time what seems like long ago. I was working at my first real computer job. Nothing glamorous ... a summer gig that my dad setup for me that turned into a part time job - paid for my car and activities. I blew all that money, imagine that.

During the summer, I'd stay with my coworker. Haven't talked to him in a while ... not since he stiffed me (and a few others) on some consulting work and then filed for bankruptcy. I wonder how he's doing.

At night, I'd sit in the master bedroom turned computer lair. We nerds had our priorities and the bigger rooms needed to host a number of computational devices. A network that served no real purpose - except maybe to download tons of music, video, and software. Back before such things were mainstream and an ISDN line was wicked fast.

I liked the solitude of that lair ... late, after everyone was asleep. I'd sit with only the glow of the monitor to keep me company. Onto the net, I'd pour my sarcastic view of the world. I was a miserable prick, some say I still am. Those essays are still around - they are my early braindumps. Anger and caffeine make for a witty combination. Wit it was, but not necessarily truth. My wit had a way of tainting reality; absurdity and superlatives tend to skew life for the sake of levity. Jerrysworld was my therapy, my mode of processing the changes and difficulties in my life. Those early comment debates that live on in the "forum" section reminded me that while I sat alone at my computer, people were out there who cared about me.

As time passed, I started writing for them, to keep the amusement alive. Gradually, I moved from on-line to off. I found someone who knew me better than I knew myself. My need for this place dwindled and finally died. That someone kindled a fire in me that this place never could.

"Clear the rubble before you can build" - that saying has been with me since Jerrysworld's humble beginning. While sarcasm has long hidden the real me, enough truth seeps through, clearing the rubble in my head. Once cleared, she provided the stone to start building; she continues to contribute every single day.

Everything we do has a purpose. We may not know what that purpose is until the rubble is clear, but it's there. There's still more to do, and plenty to build - I want a skyscraper from life, and I will have it. I can have anything that I want, and those who would hold me down are cleared away with the rubble. I have a better idea now about my purpose, I better know myself. However, there is still much to learn, much to do before the sun sets. Good thing it's only morning.

Chirp, chirp, chirp

I miss this place ... back in the day where I'd spend hours upon hours typing updates with snarky remarks about who had pissed me off in the past 24 hours. And we laughed and cried, but mostly laughed about everything.

All that is gone now ... Thousands of hits per week, now down to only a few .. and mostly from bots. It's sad that the Internet, sharing world though it is, can be harmful to someone's career and life aspirations. And I have both ...

I received a major promotion last month ... manager at a major e-commerce player. It's caused me to have to be especially careful about what I write and when. Even the places that still show all of my writing unrestricted had to be locked down. Things once written as an angsty teenager could circle back and bite me in the arse ... we can't have that happen, things are finally starting to take off.

Not unlike AIM spam a few years back (those who have followed my online rantings for a while know of  the infamous "Asian sluts too stupid to wear clothes" IM that I received during the height of this spamming), myspace users such as myself have begun getting literally 100s of spam "friend requests" a day. This morning, I received 30 in the course of an hour ... which is simply absurd.

I suppose the funniest part of this spam fest is the fact that there *are* people who accept the request ... usually guys whose pictures are acting tough (genenerally they are bare chested and attempted to be cool). Funnier still are the comments that said guys make: "Babi, tnx 4 da add ... ur so h4wt! Umf!"

Sigh, I weep for the future ...

The Before Times

It occurred to me last night that kids today, including some of my younger classmates, have no idea what DOS is. Nor do they remember days when Lotus 123 and WordPerfect ruled the office.

I spent some time last night talking to one of my classmates after Legal Writing, telling him of the "before times" ... like, before the mouse ...

I kinda miss those days ... then again, I'll always have emacs ...

Last night I had my first law classes. Just when we started thinking that the workload was managable, we received our first day assignments for legal research and writing: just under 500 pages worth of reading due tonight (Tues) ... has anyone told our prof that we all have full time jobs? Excuse me whilst I go crazy ...